Who Pays for What? The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Etiquette

Who Pays for What? The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Etiquette

Planning a wedding is a joyful and exciting time, but it can also be stressful. One of the most common sources of stress for couples is figuring out who pays for what. Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the majority of the wedding expenses, but there are many modern couples who are choosing to split the costs or share them equally.

To help you navigate the often-confusing world of wedding etiquette, we've put together this comprehensive guide to who pays for what. We'll cover all the major wedding expenses, from the venue to the food and drinks, so you can plan your wedding with confidence knowing who is responsible for each cost.

Now that we've covered the basics, let's take a closer look at each of the major wedding expenses and who is typically responsible for paying for them.

Wedding Etiquette: Who Pays for What

Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the majority of the wedding expenses, but modern couples often choose to split the costs or share them equally. Here are 10 important points to keep in mind when determining who pays for what:

  • Bride's attire
  • Bridesmaid's attire
  • Groom's attire
  • Groomsmen's attire
  • Wedding venue
  • Food and drinks
  • Wedding cake
  • Flowers
  • Photography/Videography
  • Entertainment

Remember, these are just general guidelines. Ultimately, it's up to each couple to decide who will pay for what. The most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with each other and your families to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Bride's attire

Traditionally, the bride's family is responsible for paying for the bride's attire, including her wedding gown, veil, headpiece, and shoes. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the bride's attire or share it equally.

If the bride's family is paying for her attire, they may also choose to pay for the bridesmaids' dresses. However, it is becoming increasingly common for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, especially if they are not close relatives of the bride.

The bride is typically responsible for paying for any alterations to her wedding gown. She may also choose to purchase additional accessories, such as jewelry, a garter, and a handbag, which she will pay for herself.

If the bride is wearing a family heirloom or borrowing a dress from a friend or relative, she may not have to pay for the dress itself. However, she will still be responsible for any alterations or cleaning costs.

Ultimately, who pays for the bride's attire is a decision that should be made by the couple and their families. There is no right or wrong answer, and the most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with each other to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Bridesmaid's attire

Traditionally, the bridesmaids' dresses are paid for by the bride's family. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the bridesmaids' dresses or share it equally among the bridesmaids themselves.

Bridesmaids' dresses

The bride typically chooses the bridesmaids' dresses, but she should consult with her bridesmaids to get their input on style, color, and fit. The bride may also choose to pay for the bridesmaids' dresses herself, or she may ask them to contribute to the cost. If the bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses, the bride should be mindful of their budgets and choose a dress that is affordable for everyone.

Shoes and accessories

The bridesmaids are typically responsible for paying for their own shoes and accessories, such as jewelry, handbags, and wraps. However, the bride may choose to gift her bridesmaids with these items as a thank-you for their support.

Hair and makeup

The bridesmaids are typically responsible for paying for their own hair and makeup. However, the bride may choose to pay for these services as a gift to her bridesmaids.

Travel and accommodation

If the bridesmaids are traveling to the wedding from out of town, the bride and groom may choose to pay for their travel and accommodation. However, this is not always the case, and the bridesmaids may be responsible for paying for their own travel and accommodation.

Ultimately, who pays for the bridesmaids' attire and expenses is a decision that should be made by the couple and their wedding party. There is no right or wrong answer, and the most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with each other to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Groom's attire

Traditionally, the groom's family is responsible for paying for the groom's attire, including his suit or tuxedo, shirt, tie, shoes, and any other accessories he may need. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the groom's attire or share it equally.

If the groom's family is paying for his attire, they may also choose to pay for the groomsmen's attire. However, it is becoming increasingly common for groomsmen to pay for their own attire, especially if they are not close relatives of the groom.

The groom is typically responsible for paying for any alterations to his suit or tuxedo. He may also choose to purchase additional accessories, such as a pocket square, cufflinks, and a watch, which he will pay for himself.

If the groom is wearing a family heirloom or borrowing a suit or tuxedo from a friend or relative, he may not have to pay for the suit or tuxedo itself. However, he will still be responsible for any alterations or cleaning costs.

Ultimately, who pays for the groom's attire is a decision that should be made by the couple and their families. There is no right or wrong answer, and the most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with each other to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Groomsmen's attire

Traditionally, the groom's family is responsible for paying for the groomsmen's attire, including their suits or tuxedos, shirts, ties, shoes, and any other accessories they may need. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the groomsmen's attire or share it equally among the groomsmen themselves.

If the groom's family is paying for the groomsmen's attire, they may also choose to pay for the groom's attire. However, it is becoming increasingly common for groomsmen to pay for their own attire, especially if they are not close relatives of the groom.

The groomsmen are typically responsible for paying for any alterations to their suits or tuxedos. They may also choose to purchase additional accessories, such as pocket squares, cufflinks, and watches, which they will pay for themselves.

If a groomsman is wearing a family heirloom or borrowing a suit or tuxedo from a friend or relative, he may not have to pay for the suit or tuxedo itself. However, he will still be responsible for any alterations or cleaning costs.

Ultimately, who pays for the groomsmen's attire is a decision that should be made by the couple and their wedding party. There is no right or wrong answer, and the most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with each other to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Wedding venue

Traditionally, the bride's family is responsible for paying for the wedding venue. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the wedding venue or share it equally.

Venue rental fee

The venue rental fee is the cost of renting the venue for your wedding ceremony and reception. This fee can vary depending on the size of the venue, the location, the day of the week, and the time of year. Some venues also charge additional fees for things like parking, security, and cleanup.

Food and drinks

The cost of food and drinks for your wedding reception is typically included in the venue rental fee. However, some venues may charge a separate fee for food and drinks, or they may allow you to bring in your own food and drinks. If you are bringing in your own food and drinks, you will need to factor in the cost of purchasing the food and drinks, as well as the cost of any necessary permits or licenses.

Setup and cleanup

The cost of setup and cleanup for your wedding reception is typically included in the venue rental fee. However, some venues may charge a separate fee for setup and cleanup, or they may require you to hire a separate vendor to handle these tasks.

Other fees

Some venues may charge additional fees for things like tables, chairs, linens, and lighting. Be sure to ask about all of the fees associated with the venue before you book it.

Ultimately, who pays for the wedding venue is a decision that should be made by the couple and their families. There is no right or wrong answer, and the most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with each other to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Food and drinks

The cost of food and drinks for your wedding reception is typically a significant expense. Traditionally, the bride's family is responsible for paying for the food and drinks. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the food and drinks or share it equally.

If you are having your wedding reception at a venue that includes food and drinks in the rental fee, you will need to factor in the cost of the food and drinks when choosing a venue. Some venues may offer a variety of food and drink packages to choose from, while others may allow you to customize your own menu.

If you are bringing in your own food and drinks, you will need to factor in the cost of purchasing the food and drinks, as well as the cost of any necessary permits or licenses. You will also need to arrange for transportation and setup of the food and drinks.

No matter how you choose to provide food and drinks for your wedding reception, it is important to set a budget and stick to it. Food and drinks can be a major expense, so it is important to be mindful of your spending.

Here are some tips for saving money on food and drinks for your wedding reception:

  • Choose a venue that includes food and drinks in the rental fee.
  • If you are bringing in your own food and drinks, shop around for the best prices.
  • Consider having a limited bar instead of an open bar.
  • Serve beer and wine instead of hard liquor.
  • Offer signature cocktails instead of a full bar.

Wedding cake

Traditionally, the groom's family is responsible for paying for the wedding cake. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the wedding cake or share it equally.

The cost of a wedding cake can vary depending on the size, design, and complexity of the cake. Simple cakes can cost as little as a few hundred dollars, while elaborate cakes can cost several thousand dollars.

When choosing a wedding cake, it is important to consider your budget, the number of guests you will be serving, and the overall theme of your wedding. You should also factor in the cost of delivery and setup of the cake.

If you are on a tight budget, there are several ways to save money on your wedding cake. You can choose a smaller cake, a simpler design, or a less expensive flavor of cake. You can also ask your baker if they offer any discounts for military personnel, first responders, or other groups.

Here are some tips for choosing the perfect wedding cake:

  • Consider your budget and the number of guests you will be serving.
  • Choose a design that complements the overall theme of your wedding.
  • Factor in the cost of delivery and setup of the cake.
  • Ask your baker about any discounts that may be available.

Flowers

Traditionally, the groom's family is responsible for paying for the wedding flowers. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the wedding flowers or share it equally.

The cost of wedding flowers can vary depending on the type of flowers you choose, the number of arrangements you need, and the complexity of the arrangements. Simple arrangements can cost as little as a few hundred dollars, while elaborate arrangements can cost several thousand dollars.

When choosing wedding flowers, it is important to consider your budget, the overall theme of your wedding, and the season in which you are getting married. You should also factor in the cost of delivery and setup of the flowers.

If you are on a tight budget, there are several ways to save money on your wedding flowers. You can choose less expensive flowers, such as daisies or sunflowers. You can also choose to have fewer arrangements or to use smaller arrangements. You can also ask your florist about any discounts that may be available.

Here are some tips for choosing the perfect wedding flowers:

  • Consider your budget and the number of arrangements you need.
  • Choose flowers that complement the overall theme of your wedding.
  • Factor in the cost of delivery and setup of the flowers.
  • Ask your florist about any discounts that may be available.

Photography/Videography

Traditionally, the bride's family is responsible for paying for photography and videography. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of photography and videography or share it equally.

The cost of photography and videography can vary depending on the experience of the photographer and videographer, the number of hours of coverage you need, and the number of prints and/or videos you want. Simple packages can cost as little as a few hundred dollars, while elaborate packages can cost several thousand dollars.

When choosing a photographer and videographer, it is important to consider your budget, the style of photography and videography you want, and the availability of the photographer and videographer on your wedding date. You should also factor in the cost of any additional services, such as photo albums, prints, and video editing.

If you are on a tight budget, there are several ways to save money on photography and videography. You can choose a less experienced photographer and videographer, or you can choose to have fewer hours of coverage. You can also ask about any discounts that may be available.

Here are some tips for choosing the perfect photographer and videographer:

  • Consider your budget and the number of hours of coverage you need.
  • Choose a photographer and videographer whose style complements the overall theme of your wedding.
  • Factor in the cost of any additional services, such as photo albums, prints, and video editing.
  • Ask about any discounts that may be available.

Entertainment

Traditionally, the groom's family is responsible for paying for the wedding entertainment. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the wedding entertainment or share it equally.

  • Band or DJ

    The cost of a band or DJ can vary depending on the experience of the band or DJ, the number of hours of coverage you need, and the type of music you want. Simple packages can cost as little as a few hundred dollars, while elaborate packages can cost several thousand dollars.

  • Photo booth

    The cost of a photo booth can vary depending on the type of photo booth you choose, the number of hours of coverage you need, and the number of prints you want. Simple packages can cost as little as a few hundred dollars, while elaborate packages can cost several thousand dollars.

  • Other entertainment

    Other types of wedding entertainment can include things like fireworks, magicians, and dancers. The cost of these types of entertainment can vary depending on the type of entertainment you choose and the number of hours of coverage you need.

  • Emcee

    An emcee can help to keep your wedding reception running smoothly. The cost of an emcee can vary depending on the experience of the emcee and the number of hours of coverage you need.

If you are on a tight budget, there are several ways to save money on wedding entertainment. You can choose a less experienced band or DJ, or you can choose to have fewer hours of coverage. You can also ask about any discounts that may be available.

FAQ

Here are some frequently asked questions about wedding etiquette and who pays for what:

Question 1: Who pays for the wedding venue?
Answer: Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the wedding venue. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the wedding venue or share it equally.

Question 2: Who pays for the food and drinks?
Answer: Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the food and drinks. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the food and drinks or share it equally.

Question 3: Who pays for the wedding cake?
Answer: Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the wedding cake. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the wedding cake or share it equally.

Question 4: Who pays for the flowers?
Answer: Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the wedding flowers. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the wedding flowers or share it equally.

Question 5: Who pays for the photography/videography?
Answer: Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the photography and videography. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the photography and videography or share it equally.

Question 6: Who pays for the entertainment?
Answer: Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the wedding entertainment. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the wedding entertainment or share it equally.

Question 7: Who pays for the wedding attire?
Answer: Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the bride's attire, and the groom's family pays for the groom's attire. However, modern couples often choose to split the cost of the wedding attire or share it equally.

These are just a few of the most common questions about wedding etiquette and who pays for what. Ultimately, it is up to each couple to decide who will pay for what. The most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with each other and your families to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Now that we've covered some of the most common questions about wedding etiquette and who pays for what, let's take a look at some tips for saving money on your wedding.

Tips

Here are a few tips for saving money on your wedding:

Tip 1: Set a budget and stick to it. This is the most important tip for saving money on your wedding. Once you have a budget, you can start to make decisions about where to spend your money and where to save.

Tip 2: Get creative with your vendors. Don't be afraid to ask your vendors for discounts or to negotiate prices. You may be able to get a better deal if you are willing to be flexible with your dates or times.

Tip 3: Consider having a smaller wedding. The fewer guests you have, the less you will spend on food, drinks, and other expenses.

Tip 4: Get help from your family and friends. Ask your family and friends to help you with tasks such as setting up decorations, serving food, and cleaning up after the wedding.

These are just a few tips for saving money on your wedding. By following these tips, you can have a beautiful and memorable wedding without breaking the bank.

Now that you have a better understanding of wedding etiquette and who pays for what, as well as some tips for saving money, you can start planning your dream wedding with confidence.

Conclusion

Wedding etiquette can be a complex and confusing topic, but it doesn't have to be. By following the tips and advice in this article, you can navigate the world of wedding etiquette with confidence.

The most important thing to remember is that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to wedding etiquette. What matters most is that you and your partner communicate openly and honestly with each other and your families to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Ultimately, your wedding day should be a reflection of your love and commitment to each other. Don't let the压力 of tradition or the expectations of others overshadow your happiness.

We wish you all the best in your wedding planning and hope that this article has been helpful. Congratulations on your engagement and best wishes for a lifetime of happiness together.

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